Thursday, 31 January 2013

Just January!

The first month of the year 2013, with many new hopes, wishes and resolutions to conquer and divide. Also the beginning of my fickle-minded, mid-life crisis… was having many train of thoughts from personal reflection to career to the future! The end result, I guess is the same as everyone’s, ‘I do not want to be poor, I just want to be rich’! Not sure what triggered this emotional roller coaster, perhaps too much of Fifty Shades (yes, that again!) and also starting to feel sorry for myself especially after Dad passed away. It did triggered many hidden emotional turmoil’s which have been forgotten. I have not achieved much in life besides getting married and giving birth to 2 beautiful Angels. I’m starting to feel the restlessness and also the low self-esteem… mind you, it’s way low ya…

Anyway, thinking positive is really tiring, both mentally and physically. It’s not easy to keep reaching for the stars when the actual day to day is full of craps i.e. bills and debts to pay, family to feed, jobs to do… well, what’s new and reality does bite… ouch! I can only try my level best to get by each day, hoping and praying that the monthly dues are covered and we have enough to last for the month. I know that partly it’s my fault, poor at managing the financials even though I’ve studied Accounts for crying out loud! Ya ya, I know we women are supposed to be the Financial Controller but I’ve failed miserably! A total shame to women kind! To counter and save my sorry behind, I’ve read more, Google more to understand and manage my financials better. So it’s safe to say that one day I’ll be able to achieve my many dreams *fingers crossed*

Just hoped that it is not too late… I know I know… must think positive! It is never too late for anything! If there is a will, there is a way! Yes, have to be positive-minded and pray that more $$$ will come my way be it from work or business. Also, I hope to be able to help others in similar predicament in the near future be it via Angel Investment or charitable donation. I know how it is like being in these shoes and hating it. I guess these shoes also help to mould me to be a better and stronger person eventually.

Sorry for the long rants here but I needed to get it off my chest. It’s somehow easier for me to voice out my thoughts in writing as opposed to talking with someone. Honestly, I can only achieve perhaps 50% by talking as the conversation will either be left hanging/ unresolved or changed of topic. In the end, I’ll still feel bottled up and stressed *sweat* At times, I do wish my Dad will come into my dreams and guide me, telling me what I should do and where I should go to. He was educated, an Engineer by profession, would have understood my situation and guide me accordingly. Instead, now I have to grasp and learn on my own, reading more books for dummies and asking my close friends for advice. Mind you, my friend’s experience and skills are limited thus not an easy feat grasping more knowledge here *sigh*

Thank you to whoever is reading this, understanding my predicament and hopefully you can advice me too. I gladly accept your advice as I greedily absorb more knowledge and understanding. I do not want to be the majority who lives their life monotonously as life should be. I want to be the minority who achieve and living their dreams. I want to be rich! Erm… ain’t we all… o.O

Anyhow, I’ve decided to create a board in Pinterest called ‘Dreams’ where I’ll pin stuffs which I hope to achieve in my lifetime. It’ll be like a motivational board/ goal for me and I can update it from time to time once I’ve achieved it *fingers crossed* *pray hard*

Anyways, to end this ranting, a collage of Instagrams of my January below:
From top left:
My new lavendar for my toe nails, my current liquor storage, a cute fridge magnet from Taiwan, my Fifty Shades trilogy, my favourite caffeine, my face on day 3 after facial, another favourite caffeine, my face on day 0 after facial, my favourite Pokka coffee's, my new shoes which was biting my heel, my Angels, my favourite Magnum ice-cream and yummy ice-cream fondue.

Thanks S.Soh for this nice black sesame rolls from Hong Kong! Below are some CNY decors I come across:
Summit USJ
KL Sentral

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