I have always been a loner... I do have friends but only a handful. I was never the popular kind, always hoping to be noticed. I always envied some of my friends who have loads of friends. Every where they went, they will always be in a group, seldom alone. I guess for me, I preferred the solo feeling. When in a group, I always felt awkward, not sure what to say, worried I could be saying the wrong things and all. When in a group, I felt my movements limited as we have to see if the group agrees to go here or there. However, I enjoyed hearing the many conflicting stories (in another word 'gossips') i.e. she bluffed me lah, he cheated lah, she this lah, he that lah... etc... the stories will go on and on and on. I always felt 'fake', not being my 'real' self, always felt the pretense in me. All these prompted me with the preference of being alone where ever I go.
After I have left the corporate world, I seemed to have more genuine friends, calling me for a chat or meeting me for tea. Even in a group, we can laugh and chat non-stop! Probably the stress of corporate life has left me for good. Now I'm becoming more human, more at ease, more confident with myself. I don't feel the need to pretend to be someone else. Throughout my ups and downs, they stood by me in good or bad times. I instantly felt blessed to have them as my friends... really good friends.
I now believe in this verse 'A friend in need is a friend indeed!'
To all my good friends, thank you for being my friend